Please don't call it INCESTthat's a ugly word and it makes me feel ugly.
 

No one who has experienced sexual violation by someone she (or he) loves and trusts will want to hear the word incest.  Have you noticed how most people lower their voice when they utter the word?  No wonder.  The word comes from two Latin words which mean 'defiled' and 'unchaste.' No one means to define the child who has been abused by a loved one by these terms, but we all do.  We use the term incest because no one has ever pointed out the ugly meaning of the word.  The victim of intra-family child sexual abuse has experienced a trauma (or multiple traumas) that may interfere with normal childhood development, rob her of her ability to trust, and debilitate her sense of self. Let's place the shame of I-CSA where it belongs, on the shoulders of the perpetrator--the one who did everything in his (or her) power to debilitate an innocent child.

Child Debilitation Syndrome is a term you may be hearing frequently in the near future.  It is fitting that a survivor of the syndrome discovered the classification that describes the relentless agony of growing up with such debilitating abuse that the “flight or fight” system shuts down, leaving the child “frozen;”  locked into a constricted prison from which there seems to be no escape.

Look for Linda Settle’s latest book:  The Girl Among Thorns in 2010.  Chelsey Ann Davenport, the principal character in this real life story,  experienced twenty-eight years of Child Debilitation Syndrome.  If you follow Chelsey’s story, you will come to understand women who get stuck in trauma from such an early age that they are unable to break away from it even after they are chronologically and intellectually an adult.  They will not escape until their agony is interrupted from outside their realm of terror, shame, and sorrow.  They will not escape until they, and everyone they have given their lives to protect, are guaranteed safety.  Most of them, like Chelsey, must grieve the emotional and psychological death of the perpetrator before they have the strength to break away.  Like Elizabeth of Austria who lived in a dungeon beneath her father’s house for twenty-two years, they need to know they won’t have to see his face again

If you are 'among the thorns' as Chelsey was, experiencing sexual violation or suffering because of past abuse, Chesley has a message for you. "I know you don't want to even think about what happened, and you sure don't want to talk about it.  You may be afraid, or embarrassed.  I know.  I felt that way too. But that is not the end of your story, and it wasn't the end of mine.  We can get out of the pain. We can learn to heal.  If you need help, please contact me today at: Linda@RedeemingTreasures.com , or call one of the numbers below for confidential assistance.  They won't know who you are and you will be protected.  The first step is to make the call, get support, and then you will be better able to decide what you should do.  My prayers are with you as you take this important first step. 

Call if you are an adult who is struggling with the after-effects of CSA or if you believe a child you know may be experiencing abuse.  Call today.

Confidential Crisis Line: National Child Abuse Hotline (800-4-A-CHILD)

Darkness2Light (1-866-FOR-LIGHT (1-866-367-5444)

Covenant House (1-800-999-9999)
Help, support, and caring are provided immediately to every Nineline caller. A conference call can be made on behalf of a caller to any of the more than 26,000 local service agencies in our nationwide database. For the kid who has become a victim of the streets, a contact with a local shelter can mean a meal, a bed, and an opportunity to rebuild a life in a safe haven. For the child lost in the pain and confusion of growing up, a listening ear can help by providing support and guidance. For the abused child a call to the Nineline can begin the process that will provide safety for that child. 

IF YOU ARE AN ADULT SURVIVOR OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE (CSA)

Did you ever wish there was a place where you could go and be with other people who understand what you have been through?  Have you longed for counseling but were afraid to go for it, or couldn't afford it?  Studies have shown that peer support groups can be very effective in dealing with hurts, addictions, and problems that bog us down and rob us of our joy in life.

Redeeming Treasures group studies and open meetings are starting up in multiple cities around the United States.  If you are interested in getting a group started in your community, church, or counseling practice, go to the website:  www.RedeeminTreasures.com and click on the module COME WALK WITH ME for more information.

If you suspect someone you know is being abused, or if you wonder how to define different types of abuse, go to the website: www.RedeemingOurTreasures.com and click on RESOURCES for a wealth of information about multiple types of abuse and neglect.

Finally, look for the discussion forum that will be up and running at www.RedeemingTreasures.com within a few days.  Feel free to join the group and ask us anything you want to know about abuse.  We look forward to the opportunity to get to know you. ~ Chelsey